Dear God,
Three days ago this time last year, I lost my second little bundle of joy growing inside of me a week shy of my first miscarried angels due date, this is super hard for me and I am asking for you to give me the strength so my heart doesn't break as much as it already has! These last two heartbreaking years you have put me on a roller coaster that had more downs then ups, I am not mad at you because I know I became a stronger person through it all and looking back at it I thank you! You made me realize life isn't always easy but it is worth the struggles, to have a rainbow you have to get through the rain to see it! I have looked back on these two years and what happened: moving 700 miles away from everything I have only known with a person I didn't know as well as I thought, losing two babies, got married to the man I thought was the one, the bad and good of my marriage, the tears, this divorce and for the the strength to leave the one person I never thought would hurt me and to move on (which right now is the hardest). No one never told me about how hard life can be and right now I sometimes don't even want to get out of my bed, but I know this pain will only be temporary and everything will fall into place! But God, please follow me and hold my hand through it all, give me the strength not to fall back to him or to alcohol, and for more ups then down because I don't know how long I can fake a smile when sometimes all I want to do is hide from the world and cry, help me fight this devil a nd depression who has came into my life and find you again I need you, I want you back, I love you!
love,
Courtney
