So life has been pretty great lately, 

I finally found a job, well just asked for my job back at Ruby Tuesdays but not the same one this one is a little further like 10 mins because I rather not go back to the one I use to work at since my ex still works there and he hates me i broke his heart, the drive is not to bad especially since my car is good on gas and I will be bartending and serving yahh me hello money and my future roomie has an interview on wed at the same one :)

 meet my future roomie,  K; we're looking into houses and apartments to move into by october hopefully we will find a cute not to expensive one because I am ready to be out of my parents house, not that I dont like living there I guess just after being out on my own for awhile i got use to not having someone tell me what or how to do things, and I will only be like 20 mins away at most from them so I think it will be great  :)

fall is getting closer, we have gotten sneak peeks of it the last few days..fall & spring are my favorie but my sinuses are out of control so i am ready for the weather to be cool :)

I received my divorce papers in the mail the other day, I am glad I got them honestly it means I am that much closer to having a negative abusive asshole in my life who treated my like shit; I HATE that it came to this because before I got married I never believed in getting divorced, but then again I thought he was the one and he was so different until a few months after we got married and I moved to texas! I guess thats what I get for not knowing him well enough and rushing into marriage because I was pregnant; never a good idea, lesson learned :)

 my sister sent me this the other day so true:

‎"To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of Biblical advice: " Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz." While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for any of his relatives; Broke-az, Po-az, LYIN-AZ, CHEATIN-AZ, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, , Goodfornothingaz, Lazyaz, and especially his third cousin Beatinyouaz. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz...." 

I literally almost peed myself..too funny! :)

But I am one happy girl lately, no man= no problems, good friends, family, beers and just life is amazing no more negative nancy :) 

good nigghttt bloggy friends :)

just wanna...

First off I want to thank everyone for the sweet comments from my last post they meant a lot, isn't crazy how some people you don't even know are so sweet to take time out of their life just to make someone else smile with their kind words, I find it amazing and it makes my heart smile :) 

I also went to my first couponing class today with my momma and holy moly i am in still shocked at how much people save, and I think its amazing... I can't wait to start my binder and have something me and my mom can do together and save money enjoying our time together! Also I never knew our walgreens here and many other places give a 15% discount to military members every Thursday plus you can use your coupons! This will come in need and big help when I get my apartment next month with my long lost bff yay! things are looking up for me! back on couponing (geez I am so a.d.d)

If you have any helpful tips or advice please feel free to let me know :)

Well I am off to finish watching arthur and passing out because this girl is exhausted goodnight :)

Dear God,

Dear God, 

Three days ago this time last year, I lost my second little bundle of joy growing inside of me a week shy of my first miscarried angels due date, this is super hard for me and I am asking for you to give me the strength so my heart doesn't break as much as it already has! These last two heartbreaking years you have put me on a roller coaster that had more downs then ups, I am not mad at you because I know I became a stronger person through it all and looking back at it I thank you! You made me realize life isn't always easy but it is worth the struggles, to have a rainbow you have to get through the rain to see it! I have looked back on these two years and what happened: moving 700 miles away from everything I have only known with a person I didn't know as well as I thought, losing two babies, got married to the man I thought was the one,  the bad and good of my marriage, the tears, this divorce and for the the strength to leave the one person I never thought would hurt me and to move on (which right now is the hardest). No one never told me about how hard life can be and right now I sometimes don't even want to get out of my bed, but I know this pain will only be temporary and everything will fall into place! But God, please follow me and hold my hand through it all, give me the strength not to fall back to him or to alcohol, and for more ups then down because I don't know how long I can fake a smile when sometimes all I want to do is hide from the world and cry, help me fight this devil a nd depression who has came into my life and find you again I need you, I want you back, I love you!

love, 

Courtney

I SWARE..

If one more person tells me I am in the wrong for leaving my abusive marriage, especially his commander so I will be calling jag tomorrow to get to talk to someone who isn't going to talk to me like he knows everything about what happened and how to live my life..hell no! 

reason why I will probably hurt a few people if i could get away with it.  I wish there was a such thing I could use one pass going to jail card for something I did wrong, I would in a heart beat not gonna lie, but since there is no such thing I will just vent to my blog and wish Karma would hurry up and do her job damn it! 

On to a more positive note, because I know yall don't want to hear me gripe and bitch about all that stuff, and its not me to be miss negative nancy! This last week has been quite amazing I have caught up with some girl friends from high school that I havent spoken to in awhile, hung out with family, almost fully potty trained the girls, and just enjoying life without all the negative remarks and so forth! Oh and he started the divorce papers today hopefully not to much longer and I will be a free women and get my life to how I want it, and enjoy life being single I am not sure if I want to ever get married anymore, after all I went through but maybe one day I will have the family I dreamed of since I was a little girl, a girl can dream right? 

Well I am off to bed long day tomorrow nighty night :) 

and it happened once again...

Sorry for my disapperance from blogging I have a good excuse!

Last monday my life changed for ever once again, I am going straight to the point but not all in full detail bc I am still shaken up from it all! 

My husband texted me out of the blue saying he wanted to full fill his dreams of being a porn director, at first I thought he was kidding...NOPE! He got home a little after, I was upset from the texts he sent still he came up stairs so happy bc he has been looking into some more and this is where it all started to go down hill, I got mad and bc I was mad at him he got mad at me?? (is that even right? not to me)

But things got heated up quickly after that, he told me I didnt make him happy or satisfy him and he wanted out; I told him the door was there he packed his stuff and when he was opening the door I told him he would miss this, I did everything to make things better and to make him happy, and once he left I would be packing my stuff and going back to alabama because I do not belong here; he went crazy, I tried calling the police and he grabbed me and scracthed the shit outta me and grabbed my phone and went upstairs and went outside to go to the neighbors to call the police but he through my phone at me and followed me I tried to get outside but I couldn't so I ran upstairs locked the door and thought I was in some horror movie this had to be a dream, about a few minutes after he came to the door saying he was leaving just needed something out of the room for work, I let him in and he went straight to the bedside where our gun is kept got it and once he was walking out of the room he pulled the gun to his head and went to the bathroom and locked himself in...I called 911 and he shot of the door and ran to his truck and left, like 6 cops came and surronded my door and asked me a million and 1 questions and they were on the search to find him and when they did they let him go with the gun with him, the police told me to report all the info to his commander so he would put him away so I would have time to pack my stuff and leave.. I am scared of what he will do he obviously has some issues and he has never been deployed or any heavy training so he cant blame that!

 I am safe... and back in alabama with my family...and waiting for the divorce papers..

Im done with the lies, his selfishness, & the abuse; I don't deserve to live in his misery; i feel like the biggest idiot for giving him the time of day and another chance for now on I will live my life for me and my future and no one will ever be able to take it away and I will do it all with a smile on my face knowing I don't have to deal with it anymore..I am still young and have the rest of my life :) 

yayy so excited :)

Loved this weekend, me and the husband were total bums watching movies and the hubs playing video games all weekend didn't mine one bit bc I was in control of the movies..lol.

but I did get the house clean, laundry done, and a lot of homework finished so I say this weekend was a success! Some great news i have been a non-smoker for 4 months now and still counting I am so happy, I can't explain how much better I feel after those few months! So this week I hope to get the house completely organized and a lot of homework because if everything goes as planned we will be heading to Louisiana this weekend to see my family and sell some Scentsy lol..I am so excited I haven't seen my family since may, I know some of you think that isn't bad but to me it seems like forever so we will be heading to the bayous no signal no computer nada, just family cold beers good times and lots of pictures :)

•Day 16- Another picture of yourself (baby pic!)

this is the only one i have with me right now, but I am the bald one and my older brother behind me :) 

Who I am :)

1. Favorite Color:

Mostly any shade of turquoise and pink :)

2. Favorite food that you make:

My family secret recipe...Chicken-n-dumplins 

3. Favorite Food Network Chef:

Umm...I really don't have one; I get them off the internet or from my family/friends.

4. What is the last beauty product you bought, and do you like it?

Its a 10 and I love it :) 

 

5. What are your top 3 beauty products?

1) Its a 10 leave in miracle (shown above)

2.) my straightener

3.) aussie hairspray  

6. Essie or OPI?

Never used these yet, but i want to try the OPI.

7. How often do you work out?

hahaha..not as much as I should, does walking up and down the stairs count? and I really should start working out I might start that today actually bc my brazil buttlift workout dvd is catching dust! 

8. Iced or hot coffee?

It depends on the weather, but I love frappes :) 

9. Favorite celebrity couple:

Khloe & Lamar

They are a strong couple, they got married fast like me and my husband did;

but they remain true and real to each other on tv..they make me happy :)

10. Place you have never been but would like to go:

hawaii...need i say more? :) 

11. What gift did you get from your wedding registry that you get the most use out of?

All of them..lol..we got all the basics that we need everyday (kitchen, bathroom, bedroom and living room stuff)

12. Biggest pet peeve:

people not cleaning off the plate when there done with it..lol

13. Best guilty pleasure:

reality tv, drama filled books, and wine :) 

14. Favorite book:

all nicholas sparks & emily giffin books

fiction book- the child called it

15. Do you subscribe to any magazines?

none not at the moment, where on a tight budget :(

16. Favorite Halloween costume:

im the refree and I was like 17 here :) 

17. Drink of choice:

alcohol: barefoot sweet red 

18. What advice would you give your 17-year-old self?

oh lawd, well to choose your friends wisely, and not do some stuff but then again all my mistakes and stuff have brought me here to where i am at :)