addiction?

So it's midnight here and I am up again for the 3rd night in a row, why?

Because I have an addiction...

not a terribly bad one if I say so myself! :)

Netflix is to blame because they have all the seasons besides the new one out of...

Gossip Girl.

I just finished watching Season 1, I know I am late to this show but I never knew what I was missing until now because the last few days I have been stuck in my comfy bed on netflix eating way too much junk food  (Dont worry I am still working out) but this is how I am wasting away my lovely time and I don't mind because I love it..even though SOME of the characters in this show I want to smack upside the head though but other than that I don't think I can leave my house until I finish the all the seasons...So if you don't hear from me don't worry I am stuck in my bed glued to this lovely show :) 

Thank you netflix for taking away my life 

just working on my fitness he's my witness.

haha..the title of this post is a song stuck in my head, no idea where the heck it came from 

or if those are the right lyrics or not? who knows with me i tend to make up 

my own lyrics for songs all the time! 

im weird i know so its okay :) 

But the fitness part of the title is what I wanna talk about,

so a few days ago i started working out:

my abs, booty, thighs, legs, arms and places i never knew I had muscles at! omg I am sore ha 

If you know me you know I am pretty lazy, this picture below is me like all the time watching trash tv or movies eating all day! hehe oops! 

I just wish I looked that good being lazy haha

Im not overweight or anything; I just wanna get toned and in shape

because I went running this morning, and well kinda stopped a lot to catch my breath like a lot! 

No one saw thank god because I am sure I was embarrassing myself...

thinking I looked like this...

but really looking like this but with long hair and tata's.. hahaha

I took before pictures so I can see my process of how my body changes through out my working out until I go to basic training for either the navy or coast guard just not sure which one yet :)

excuse the hott mess it was a lazy day for this girl! ha

before working out 

October 18,2011 

catching up: first up bourbon street :)

So me and my friend K took a little road trip...

 to New Orleans to see on of my friends who just moved down there a few months ago, and went down to the "famous"

two words to describe bourbon st:

CRAZY. FUN!

we started off our night with hand grenades after dinner with some amazing cajun food, 

which is one of the ways to when my heart; but not here nor for awhile :) 

all the entertainers down bourbon were old creeps who begged you to take a picture with them then after want you to tip them, excuse me? i believe your the one who asked me to take a picture with you, i believe your the one who needs to be tipping me..just sayin' 

and some of the people you see omgahhh i had a great laugh tho so its all good :) 

intense conversation and a hurricane drink omg every sip i took i thought i was taking a shot! 

this girl was drunk not soon after being down there..lol

I also rode a bull i will have to put the video up later when it is done downloading 

alcohol+bull rides= me falling off every 2 seconds

:) 

oh life

So I have been m.i.a. with no excuse really, just dealing with some hard times! 

I am not gonna get into detail, because I don't know who all reads my blog

and I don't want anyone that knows me or doesn't to judge me, I just need some prayers to get through it! 

I am okay, im just going through a rough patch in life, 

and trying to get myself back into the right direction! 

Which I will as soon as all this passes by, I am strong I know I can handle what God has given me even though sometimes I wish he didn't trust me so much...lol!

I believe in him and know everything will be ok, so I am putting it in his hands and praying to overcome this and for it too build me as a person and learn from my mistakes! :)

& if you do say a prayer for me, please don't do this kinda praying, i think someone already beat ya too it..haha

With all this bullshit that is happening I learned and want to do:

1.I learned who my true friends are

2. family is always there for you

3. God has a plan for me

4. life is about learning from your mistakes and not making the same one twice

5. I am going to talk to some recruiters tomorrow; I think joining the military is something I need to do, for my country, family, friends and myself! 

6. Be a better person

7. dont lean towards things that arent good for me

8. Get back in a better relationship with my mom & dad

9. Make time for God, and pray and go to church more!

10. CHANGE for myself 

I am going to try to blog more, now that i have all the negativity out of my life

and more time to get back in control of my life and not just vent on here :) 

So life has been pretty great lately, 

I finally found a job, well just asked for my job back at Ruby Tuesdays but not the same one this one is a little further like 10 mins because I rather not go back to the one I use to work at since my ex still works there and he hates me i broke his heart, the drive is not to bad especially since my car is good on gas and I will be bartending and serving yahh me hello money and my future roomie has an interview on wed at the same one :)

 meet my future roomie,  K; we're looking into houses and apartments to move into by october hopefully we will find a cute not to expensive one because I am ready to be out of my parents house, not that I dont like living there I guess just after being out on my own for awhile i got use to not having someone tell me what or how to do things, and I will only be like 20 mins away at most from them so I think it will be great  :)

fall is getting closer, we have gotten sneak peeks of it the last few days..fall & spring are my favorie but my sinuses are out of control so i am ready for the weather to be cool :)

I received my divorce papers in the mail the other day, I am glad I got them honestly it means I am that much closer to having a negative abusive asshole in my life who treated my like shit; I HATE that it came to this because before I got married I never believed in getting divorced, but then again I thought he was the one and he was so different until a few months after we got married and I moved to texas! I guess thats what I get for not knowing him well enough and rushing into marriage because I was pregnant; never a good idea, lesson learned :)

 my sister sent me this the other day so true:

‎"To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of Biblical advice: " Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz." While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for any of his relatives; Broke-az, Po-az, LYIN-AZ, CHEATIN-AZ, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, , Goodfornothingaz, Lazyaz, and especially his third cousin Beatinyouaz. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz...." 

I literally almost peed myself..too funny! :)

But I am one happy girl lately, no man= no problems, good friends, family, beers and just life is amazing no more negative nancy :) 

good nigghttt bloggy friends :)

just wanna...

First off I want to thank everyone for the sweet comments from my last post they meant a lot, isn't crazy how some people you don't even know are so sweet to take time out of their life just to make someone else smile with their kind words, I find it amazing and it makes my heart smile :) 

I also went to my first couponing class today with my momma and holy moly i am in still shocked at how much people save, and I think its amazing... I can't wait to start my binder and have something me and my mom can do together and save money enjoying our time together! Also I never knew our walgreens here and many other places give a 15% discount to military members every Thursday plus you can use your coupons! This will come in need and big help when I get my apartment next month with my long lost bff yay! things are looking up for me! back on couponing (geez I am so a.d.d)

If you have any helpful tips or advice please feel free to let me know :)

Well I am off to finish watching arthur and passing out because this girl is exhausted goodnight :)

Dear God,

Dear God, 

Three days ago this time last year, I lost my second little bundle of joy growing inside of me a week shy of my first miscarried angels due date, this is super hard for me and I am asking for you to give me the strength so my heart doesn't break as much as it already has! These last two heartbreaking years you have put me on a roller coaster that had more downs then ups, I am not mad at you because I know I became a stronger person through it all and looking back at it I thank you! You made me realize life isn't always easy but it is worth the struggles, to have a rainbow you have to get through the rain to see it! I have looked back on these two years and what happened: moving 700 miles away from everything I have only known with a person I didn't know as well as I thought, losing two babies, got married to the man I thought was the one,  the bad and good of my marriage, the tears, this divorce and for the the strength to leave the one person I never thought would hurt me and to move on (which right now is the hardest). No one never told me about how hard life can be and right now I sometimes don't even want to get out of my bed, but I know this pain will only be temporary and everything will fall into place! But God, please follow me and hold my hand through it all, give me the strength not to fall back to him or to alcohol, and for more ups then down because I don't know how long I can fake a smile when sometimes all I want to do is hide from the world and cry, help me fight this devil a nd depression who has came into my life and find you again I need you, I want you back, I love you!

love, 

Courtney